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kogepon
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Name: kogepon
Country: United States
State: North Carolina
Metro: Durham
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, cooking/baking, photography, copious consumption of caffeine.
Expertise: None that I can think of. I have been trying to pipett with my thumb now. And getting lost.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/21/2005
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| After Dupont Circle, we have ventured out into another part of the DC scence via our couple friend V&Y, on a dinner/dessert/game night. We started out at Jose Andres Cafe Atlantico. I've eaten at Jaleo years ago and fell in love with Tapa, and the man behind the place, Jose Andres. He's the head of Thinkfood (which owns some of DC's hottest eateries) and a semi-celebraity chef. Cafe Atalntico has been on the to go list for awhile now, along with Zaytinya and Minibar. I The magic mojito (a cotton candy deconstrution of mojito) was interesting in a good way, my other drink "Dark and Stormy" (Gosling’s Black Seal rum, Barrett’s ginger beer and limeas) was strong. The grilled octopus had a very surpringly soft texture but I think we all liked it. The quacomole was good, but my entree (scallop with cocoa butter, cauliflower purée, cauliflower ‘couscous’ American caviar) was too salty, and BF's duck confit was mushy to me (though he says a confit was suppose to be like that). Y's special (veal cheek) was TINY and I didn't get to see V's Portobello Mushroom. It is on the pricier side, esp compared to our meal in Philly this past New Years eve (will blog later). But then maybe I am spoiled by Durham standard :) CoCo sala: Asian course was the bomb! I prefer it over the Italian course (p.s. each a 3-mini courses of dessert). Think of this place as a chocolate tapas/higher end then Max Berner in NYC. Coffee by the pot (French press) is also very high quality. The ambiance is good and chic. What a fun night @ Penn Qarter :)
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| Edit: completely a one-sided vent. I was just frusted and need to get stuff out of my chest, that is all. All better and get on with life. Thesis, that is. :((( I haven't been feeling very good about myself lately. The stress of last couple months of graduation is really getting to me.
Moreover, I am feeling very little respect from my BF lately. We have been struggling with what I want to do next and my career progression.
Apparently in his view I am not very career-driven. I don't have a nice car, a house/condo, a job, nor a good quality of life. He does not see value proposition to my PhD, or my research topic (i.e. no value proposition),
I understand my own self-value and esteem need to be established on my own, but don't we all just want the acceptance and respect of those we love?
Yes he accepts me, as a big fat looser with nothing to show. More and more I am ashamed to be around his friends, who mingle with movie stars, dirve nice cars, live jet-around the world, etc. I am even a little bit scared of the prospect of moving up to DC. Sure, I will feel ok when I am in my new lab where what I have is very much acceptable, but because I will be having friends who are not like me, am not so sure how to tell people that I am almost 30, but I don't have a real job (yes, FYI: NIH postdocs are not consider employees like mospt places. We are "trainees"), and only make 40k without benefits.
I know it takes time to establish a career, but BF bluntly told me that I will never acheive his level of finacial success even if I do get a job as a scientist (NIH staff scientist starts 60K), but that is ok with him, since he does not need me to make as much money as he does.
He said he is with me because I make a good girlfriend.
But somehow I feel like I am more than that- more than a nice girlfriend. I too, want to do something, want to be someone. Someone that does important work, am good at what I do, makes enough money so I can feel like I pull my weight around that house with money, someone that BF can be proud to introduce to his friends, more than "she is a very nice girl and she bakes".
I just want to be respected, that is all.
I wonder if I will never get there? | | |
| 1. BF was very good in dealing with the paper writings writing- graduation induced stress. I had a melt-down moment and acted up. He dealt with it and we have "moved on from the bad day". Made a public FB status declaration of his act and I think he likes it a lot. lol. 2. Thank God most "important" papers were from Nature, Science, and Cell. And most of them aren't even full paper, but are short "letter", "comment", or "reports". That made reading & writing a lot easier. Length of a paper is inversely proportional to the impact of a paper?! 3. Good reviews are so good and open up a whole new field to you. Bad reviews just... waste your time :/ 4. So much to read/learn/write about cell cycle and DNA damage repair. 5. There are definitely "hot" topics with competing labs. I found a number of back-to-back publication in Nature on the same stuff by different labs. There are also "hot years" where I see a lab gets out a bunch papers on related areas within a short period of time. Also, splitting a huge work into multiple papers is a common act. 
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Official Whitehouse photo on Flickr. He's as awestrcuk as any of us would be in receiving such honor, and more than anyone, I believe he knows the significance of it, as well as the responsibilities that come with it. So let us all hope for the best. (I still can't get over his expression and the fact he's sitting pigeon toed :} ) | | |
| Updates: TONS of reading to catch up for writing intro for the thesis. I am not the best and most efficient writer, and more importantly, I hate reading genetics paper (yet here I am, a trained genetist). Anyway, I am playing tug-of-war on getting what I want, what I need, against the other parties invovled, including the PI and the BF. I don't like being told what I can and cannot do. I should really just do it and shock him. Perhaps the "shock and awe" approch won't be too bad and I shall go out with a bang. Oh who cares, I really just want to graduate, in time, and LEAVE. Ok, crunch time. | | |
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